Jimmy’s How (not) To Vote Card
// Jimmy // August 13th, 2010 // How To, Jimmy's Blog
You’re already thinking “Oh noes, Jimmy is about to pollute what would have been a freakin amazing blog with political garbage”. Hold on though, because this is actaully a guide on how to escape politics to the best of ones ability. This is perfect for anyone like me who is only burdened with political thoughts once every three or four years, when an election is held. Eww.
I don’t want you to get too excited when you read this, so try to relax a bit.
I, James, have accidentally stumbled upon a repeatable method to be unenrolled from the electoral roll in Australia.
The story goes that I went to visit Kate at a pre-polling booth, where people can vote before the actaul day if they can’t make it. Kate works for a federal member and I am me, so this is living proof that opposites attract. Anyhoo, I digress. You are meant to have a legit reason to use these pre-polling things. Mine was that I couldn’t be fucked finding a booth and lining up on the day. Seems pretty obvious.
So I didn’t know which electorate I was in and requested this from the nice old man inside. He spent some time looking through a PDAwhich contained details for everyone on the roll in Oz. After a few minutes he told me he couldn’t find me and that I must not be on the roll. Knowing that I was once on the roll and thinking that once you were in you were to be tortured for life, I assumed he must have been technology illiterate, mainly because he was old.
I did not want a fine for not voting, so I thought I’d double check. A nice lady at the AEC confimed old mans words, and that I was not in fact on the roll. How on earth did this happen, and why has noone taught me how to do this before? I will not waste any more of your time.
Step One
Move house. Try to make sure it is in a different electorate. I do not guarantee this method will work if you move just down the road.
Step Two
Apply for mail redirection from Australia Post, so all your mail does not get lost at your old place.
Step Two Point Five
The AEC will send a non-redirectable letter to your old address. This letter will be about how you have moved and need to enroll again else you will be removed (this is only from what I have heard).
Step Three
Do not get the letter because you obviously don’t live in the old house.
Step Four (important)
When they send you the purple form for enrollment in your new electorate, pick in up and walk directly to the bin. Open bin and place purple form in it. Another option is just to burn it. Just somehow get rid of the disgusting little form.
Step Five
Bask in your new found freedom to not have to move from the couch on election day!
And for those unfortunate enough to still have to attend a booth on the day, you should begin practicing you artistic abilities, and learn how to draw the following:
